Ryaca
Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:36 am
Ryaca may be getting too big for me to handle. What I mean by that statement is this:
In this game everyone enjoys a certain amount of anonymity. The amount is up to the user. Because of this, I believe we all create alter egos that are a little different from how we really act and who we really are. I don't necessarily like the person I have become because of this. I have certainly changed since I first started playing and if u read some of my very first posts, it doesn't even sound like the same person. When I first started playing, I used to be very helpful to other players. Now it seems that the only person that I help anymore is myself. I believe I have become out of control with a bloated ego because I think that I am higher level now. I believe that because I have spent over $1500 dollars on this game that at times I have felt entitled to have my way when it comes to issues with the FT staff and other players. I know that this is wrong. I have been mean and rude to other players, cursed and used foul and abusive language, spawned huge mobs and then logged when lower levels try to grind with me, attacked players ruthlessly when they have attacked my clan and then taken things way to far when I should have let it go, ignored other players, and have been just downright out of character. That never would have flown with the old me. I have thought about starting a new character so I could start over unknown for some time now. I know that this is unrealistic for me and I need to stick with the same character instead of taking the easy way out and live with the mistakes that I have made. I have turned my back on a lot of my friends that I had made early on in my FT days and have deleted my friends list a few times now out of feelings of shame. I feel ashamed of my behavior. I have to try very hard to maintain my composure and some of my old self which is getting harder and harder to do over time. Ryaca may very well be becoming a monster and I may have traveled too far to turn back. I hope it is not too late...
In this game everyone enjoys a certain amount of anonymity. The amount is up to the user. Because of this, I believe we all create alter egos that are a little different from how we really act and who we really are. I don't necessarily like the person I have become because of this. I have certainly changed since I first started playing and if u read some of my very first posts, it doesn't even sound like the same person. When I first started playing, I used to be very helpful to other players. Now it seems that the only person that I help anymore is myself. I believe I have become out of control with a bloated ego because I think that I am higher level now. I believe that because I have spent over $1500 dollars on this game that at times I have felt entitled to have my way when it comes to issues with the FT staff and other players. I know that this is wrong. I have been mean and rude to other players, cursed and used foul and abusive language, spawned huge mobs and then logged when lower levels try to grind with me, attacked players ruthlessly when they have attacked my clan and then taken things way to far when I should have let it go, ignored other players, and have been just downright out of character. That never would have flown with the old me. I have thought about starting a new character so I could start over unknown for some time now. I know that this is unrealistic for me and I need to stick with the same character instead of taking the easy way out and live with the mistakes that I have made. I have turned my back on a lot of my friends that I had made early on in my FT days and have deleted my friends list a few times now out of feelings of shame. I feel ashamed of my behavior. I have to try very hard to maintain my composure and some of my old self which is getting harder and harder to do over time. Ryaca may very well be becoming a monster and I may have traveled too far to turn back. I hope it is not too late...