Ryaca

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Ryaca
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Joined: Fri Jan 22, 2016 3:52 am

Ryaca

Post by Ryaca » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:36 am

Ryaca may be getting too big for me to handle. What I mean by that statement is this:

In this game everyone enjoys a certain amount of anonymity. The amount is up to the user. Because of this, I believe we all create alter egos that are a little different from how we really act and who we really are. I don't necessarily like the person I have become because of this. I have certainly changed since I first started playing and if u read some of my very first posts, it doesn't even sound like the same person. When I first started playing, I used to be very helpful to other players. Now it seems that the only person that I help anymore is myself. I believe I have become out of control with a bloated ego because I think that I am higher level now. I believe that because I have spent over $1500 dollars on this game that at times I have felt entitled to have my way when it comes to issues with the FT staff and other players. I know that this is wrong. I have been mean and rude to other players, cursed and used foul and abusive language, spawned huge mobs and then logged when lower levels try to grind with me, attacked players ruthlessly when they have attacked my clan and then taken things way to far when I should have let it go, ignored other players, and have been just downright out of character. That never would have flown with the old me. I have thought about starting a new character so I could start over unknown for some time now. I know that this is unrealistic for me and I need to stick with the same character instead of taking the easy way out and live with the mistakes that I have made. I have turned my back on a lot of my friends that I had made early on in my FT days and have deleted my friends list a few times now out of feelings of shame. I feel ashamed of my behavior. I have to try very hard to maintain my composure and some of my old self which is getting harder and harder to do over time. Ryaca may very well be becoming a monster and I may have traveled too far to turn back. I hope it is not too late...
BOO!:ghost:
blitzcraig
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Re: Ryaca

Post by blitzcraig » Mon Feb 20, 2017 1:55 am

Proceed with caution, Dr. Jekyll
Beeware the Spiral Blitzbees...
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Ryaca
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Re: Ryaca

Post by Ryaca » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:30 am

I will take your advice Blitzcraig. I know I am better than that.
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Leone
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Location: Ashdown Village

Re: Ryaca

Post by Leone » Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:18 am

With great power comes great something or other. Nice post. Very honest. You still help but you select yr time. No harm in that.
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Arashiko
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Re: Ryaca

Post by Arashiko » Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:36 am

Ryaca
I've always find you helpful and a good friend in the game
I've never seen you lose your cool.
Without your help I would not have gotten this far (level 95 now)
I've helped others, but like you I'm selective, when lower levels automatically assume I'm there to spawn for them,,I just walk away.

We all need "me time" with our characters, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with doing your own thing for your character. Nobody is expected to be a saint.

I think you're being so honest that you're beating yourself up without realising that actually, what you've done, and continue to do, on the whole, has been good for us and the game. The flare ups you mention are understandable. Everyone gets fed up with being pressured into doing stuff for others just because one has more (levels, gold, gear, whatever)

Keep going :-)
You're OK in my book!
Arashiko Senior GM (RETIRED )
Now playing again as Arozel.


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madmaniacal1
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Re: Ryaca

Post by madmaniacal1 » Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:38 am

Your post shows that you want to be the player you used to be. I've never seen you do the things you stated, but I believe in your honesty and believe you. I can only say this. Having decided to change, only you can follow through with it. In the end, we make our own choices. I know this as well as anyone, maybe more than most. I believe in you, Ryaca. You can be who you want to be, but in the end, you must decide who that is.

Edit: Due to approval delay, Arashiko's post wasn't there when I commented before. However, I agree 100%.
Last edited by madmaniacal1 on Mon Feb 20, 2017 6:56 am, edited 2 times in total.
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naomi
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Re: Ryaca

Post by naomi » Mon Feb 20, 2017 3:42 am

just to share mine, my passion is to help low lvls...ive gain my lvls in a hard way, thats why maybe its my happiness to help low lvls ^_^
username:naomi lvl.1,631 archer (ADIK-Marshal)
username:naomii lvl.72 archer (ADIK-Duke)



IS NOW ACTIVE...
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Ryaca
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Re: Ryaca

Post by Ryaca » Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:34 am

madmaniacal1 wrote:I've never seen you do the things you stated, but I believe in your honesty and believe you.
These examples are far and few between but they have happened before.

madmaniacal1 wrote:I believe in you, Ryaca. You can be who you want to be, but in the end, you must decide who that is.
Thank you for your support. I helped some players tonight. I'm back on track now. Thank you Leone and Naomi as well.
BOO!:ghost:
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ardesia
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Re: Ryaca

Post by ardesia » Mon Feb 20, 2017 9:33 am

We all are humans, here - even ogres and fairies! We make mistakes, we happen to misjudge situations, to sometimes let feelings affect our behaviour.
I rarely directly play with you, unfortunately, but never I saw you acting bad nor had rumors about that and I'm glad we finally managed to be again in each other friends list :D
[GM] ardesia :: Game Admin :: Currently retired
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Ryaca
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Re: Ryaca

Post by Ryaca » Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:05 pm

Yes I am glad to have found you again also. It seems that sometimes in my quest to become very high level, I forget why I started playing in the first place. I must relearn this.
BOO!:ghost:
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